Young and Still Single?
Watching ‘The Crown’ made me reimagine how it would have been to be brought up in the earlier part of the 20th century. You are already married in your early 20s and have a full-fledged family by the time you are 30. Who would have imagined humans would live to see more women in the workforce than the household force?
Few years down the line, I would see a lot of my peers at school and colleges getting married but are the women today even eager to get hitched? Who knows, after all, it is a very personal choice!!
You might achieve what you want with the best soul mate meant for you on this earth and on the other hand, you might even decide to stay single and commit to financial and personal growth for some time more. There is no right age for anybody to get married and today it is more of a revolution than a myth and a taboo. Women now prefer to stay young and single — waking up each day to earn their financial independence, resonates more with them than waking up with a partner sleeping by their side. Even Google shows women-oriented search results when given the query “unmarried singles”.
Despite the pressure from family, the young female millennials take pride in not planning to tie the knot anytime soon while exploring conversations on family, marriage, career, or their role as a caregiver. In the olden days, parents used to throw questions like — “What are you planning to do next” or “What’s next?”. All of them gave them an indication to get “settled”. Women now question if the meaning of getting settled in life actually means getting married. Some orthodox families claim to pester young women as soon as they cross the age of 25. With the workforce revolution dawning and more women taking up jobs to achieve financial independence, the idea of marriage seems to take a backseat. Even today, society views marriage more of a way to reduce the burden on the aging parents than to actually pair up with somebody you love.
The modern woman wants to take it slow so that she does not end up making the wrong choice and regret it later. As a matter of fact, a study suggests that the average married man benefits more from the unpaid labor his wife provides as compared to a single man and thus ends up being better earners. On the other hand, a married woman spends 2.95 hours in household work as compared to a single woman who spends 2.41 hours daily.
Let me live free, I don’t want to be a superwoman
No matter whatever amount of higher education one might imbibe as a modern woman, traditions will come to crumble all your dreams and ambitions. Arranged marriages might be appropriate for most but for some ambitious women, marriage is more about finding a soulmate than finding a husband who can buy her a diamond ring.
People associate marriage with the shelf life of a woman. That their biological clock is ticking and once they cross their 20s their shelf life would simply expire. A spinster aged 35 is looked down upon by the relatives and family. Some women claim that they are simply too selfish to devote time to two different families. They already have a family, career, and social life to look after, and chalking out time to cater to another family might be too much to ask for when it can definitely wait. It might be the case that your friends from school and college might already be getting hitched and your Instagram is filled with such posts but it should always be a personal decision than a societal decision.
What do our parents think?
No matter how modern the Parents are, they think that their responsibility is far from over unless they have seen their princess find her prince charming early on in life. The matchmaker relatives are all on their heads with men lined up to marry their daughter. According to the UN, the average age of a married Indian woman grew to 21 years in 2011 from 19.3 years in 1991. That is an improvement but not a significant one.
The parents have this constant fear about their daughter being left out when all their cousins and siblings younger than them are getting married. While this does not seem to worry the woman herself, it is a thought which infests the brains of her parents every now and then. The parents consider the act of marriage as a safety cocoon that will protect their daughter when they are not around. The young gen believes that there is no right age to find love and there is absolutely no defined age to get married to.
So, does being single actually help lead a more meaningful and better life?
At the thought of it most of us would gladly agree. According to a study, being single helps people to live a more meaningful life. Living single allows them to have a greater sense of determination which makes them more aware of themselves. There are no unnecessary pressures such as assuming the wifehood and juggling work and home. Single women have more time to contribute to their personal development.
In the end, it should be a very personal decision for a woman of any age to get married or not. Our parents are a medium to bring us to this world, and society provides the necessary conditions for us to nurture. If we grow up in a progressive world, we can unleash the hidden potential and if not then we might end up serving some man who wants to exercise nothing but patriarchy. So, let us allow our girls to grow and keep growing irrespective of being married or not.
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